CAST AND CREDITS:

STARRING:
Ashton Kutcher, Brittany Murphy,
Christian Kane, Taran Killam, Monet Mazur

DIRECTED BY:
Shawn Levy

WRITTEN BY:
Sam Harper

PRODUCED BY:
Robert Simonds, Tracey Trench,
Lauren Shuler-Donner

DISTRIBUTED BY:
Twentieth Century Fox

RATING USA...
Rated PG-13 for sexual content,
some crude humor and a brief drug reference.
RATING CANADA...
Rated PG language may offend


Romantic Comedy
It Could Have Been A Perfect Honeymoon...In Hell.

"I had the perfect relationship that was ruined by marriage."
They got married and on their wedding night they were to tired for sex. They wake up in the morning and have only an hour to get to the airport; no time for sex. On the plane they try to join the mile high club in the washroom but his foot gets stuck in the toilet bowl, whoops no sex. This still happy couple arrive at a beautiful French castle for their honeymoon; okay it's time...oops...a small misunderstanding and they are kicked out and no sex. They get trapped over night in their car in a snowbank and decide to try sex...too cold...too tired. Now they make it to Venice, they're in their room and try to have a go at it but the walls are too thin and through the wall they go; that's right no sex. They tour the city and things get worse...okay by now you may have figured out that there is just not going to be any sex in this movie let alone in their marriage. Tom and Sarah were JUST MARRIED and their life has started going downhill.

"Call first, I might be having sex with a complete stranger."
Tom (Ashton Kutcher) and Sarah (Brittany Murphy) have just returned to Los Angeles from their disasterous honeymoon. The two despise each other, but what happened? This comic love story is told in flashbacks to bring us up to date. First we cut back to how they met and the beginning of their courtship, then the wedding and finally the honeymoon.

"You promise that we'll never lie to each other."
"That's a promise."
Sarah is the rich girl from a "proper" family but Tom is a radio traffic announcer who has a passion for watching sports and drinking beer. Nothing strange there if you're a guy. Still these two love each other and against her parents desires they get married ten months after they met. They both promise never to lie to each other but before they get married Tom and Sarah confide in their best man and maid of honour that they each have a secret. The advice is to keep it to themselves; which we all know will eventually come back to haunt them at the most inopportune time.

"...And that was it. A month later we were married."
Peter Prentis works for Sarah's father and still wants her and is not about to give up on her even after her marriage. The father has no problem helping Peter in this endeavour even though Sarah has made it clear she is not interested in Peter. Tom's father on the other hand is extremely happy that the two are married. With this bit of background let's head off to the honeymoon.

"Playtime is over children."
The trip over the Atlantic is very funny with the two trying to find a moment to get into the washroom for an attempt at sex. It turns into a comedy of errors that foreshadows the rest of the honeymoon trip. The film quickly descends into the usually Hollywood pratfalls and cultural misunderstandings.

"Are you mocking me?."
Their trip to the honeymoon castle starts by Tom and Sarah driving there in the ugliest new rental car I have ever seen. Tom is not happy driving it and like him I would be embarrassed to be seen in it myself. It is uuuggglllyyy. On arrival at this beautiful castle they are met with a gift from Peter and one from Tom's buddy, Kyle. That not so innocent gift gets them kicked out of the hotel and send out into the cold, snowy night in their God awful ugly, yellow thing that passes for a car.

"Great, now we get to freeze to death."
Things are not going too well and an argument has them ending in a snow bank in the dark. They are trapped in the car overnight and in the morning they have a little surprise or two waiting for them. A tow truck driver suggests that they go to Venice in Italy and gives the two cash starved honeymooners a cheap place to stay. It's not just cheap it is a dump run by a fat landlady that leaves trails of flatulence behind her. Yes they managed to get a fart joke into the movie, surprise!

"Do you have four men staring at your boobies right now?"
Dump or not the two sex starved honeymooners try once more to do the deed and in their moments of passion manage to go flying through the cheap crumbling wall. I did tell you the room waa a dump didn't I? Anyway the two end up in their neighbour's bed and all night long Tom and Sarah have to lay in bed listening to the lovemaking next door. Needless to say no sex for them that night. So you say, "Hey they did it in the morning, correct?". Sorry Sparky you're wrong, a very large cockroach puts a damper on their amourous intentions.

"I know this honeymoon hasn't been perfect."
Sarah can't take it anymore and calls her father to help them with hotel arrangements. After the father insults Tom on the phone, the new husband gets angry and tells Sarah that her family wants this marriage to fail. Once the two move into their swank new hotel room, Tom decides to stay in while Sarah goes to view the Tintorello's in the art museums. When Sarah goes to the lobby, who should be there but no other than Peter Prentis. Is this an obvious setup by the father or what. Remember I mentioned that the lies will come back at theem at the most inopportunr time. Well it does with vengeance. No I still have no intention of telling you what the lies are about. Pay your money and see the movie.

"Hooker!."
"Murderer!."
Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy make the movie with their portrayal of two kids married at to young an age. The film itself is too predictable but still if laughs are what you are looking for then you will not be disappointed. Kutcher, unfortunately acts to much like Kelso from the THE 70's SHOW and detracts from the character but otherwise he is funny. Tom and Sarah are like a young version of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez from movie, THE LONG TRAILER but not nearly as funny of course. That movie was also about a young married couple whose marriage seems doomed from the start.

"The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino."
Sam Harper's screenplay could have been much better since it addresses newlyweds from different classes, who face pressures and obstacles to their marriage. Unfortunately, the film aims at more lowbrow humour rather than dwelling on some of the more insightful problems that could have been dealt with. Like I said the saving grace is the fine acting job the two leads.

"...And that was it...game over."
Kutcher has a real skill for physical comedy as can be seen on THE 70'S SHOW. He definitely has a down to earth charm that is appealing but the beautiful Brittany Murphy is the real fetching star of this film. She adds so much to this comedy and it a very good reason to see JUST MARRIED. When you watch her you can see that she doesn't just react to the scenes, she seems to be really listening when she's not talking. The small movements of her facial expressions really make us believe that she is not just acting, instead she is being the character. I don't believe anyone will deny, that once they see the movie, that Murphy is the star of JUST MARRIED. You can be sure she will be going on to bigger and better things.

"I feel we've been married 50 years."
So if you want a few good laughs and see if Tom and Sarah finally get to have sex then go to your favourite theatre or drive-in and eat some popcorn, sit back and enjoy, JUST MARRIED. This movie is best seen with a large crowd, it seems funnier that way. Oh, and if you're getting married soon, treat this film as a primer of things not to do on your honeymoon.


"Welcome to the honeymoon from hell."

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